Day 2 - A Tale of Two Pregnancies
Day 2, I'm killing it! Just kidding. I'll hold those bold and boastful statements for another week or so of completing the challenge.
I'm at yet another doctors appointment, so clearly I've got some sitting and waiting time to pause and write today's post. One thing I've thought about jotting down recently is how my pregnancies have differed. I'd like to remember the little changes from one to the other when I think back years from now. My memory is not so great, so writing things down is the only way to preserve such things. So for Day 2 of the challenge, I'll be writing about the tale of my two pregnancies.
Every single pregnant-for-the-first-time lady I know and moms of one have asked me how the second pregnancy compares with the first. Every pregnancy is different, but everyone is hoping for the same answer... the second one is a breeze! Much easier! Depending how fearful someone is when they ask me to compare my pregnancies, I may just give them that answer and let it be. It soothes their weary soul if they had a rough go of it the first time around. It's not a total stretch of the truth, but just a partial answer when it comes to my experience.
The first pregnancy really crept by to me for a couple of reasons. Everything is so new and changing by the day, that I felt like I soaked in every moment. Now with that "soaking in" came a boatload of worry for me. I suppose I'm naturally somewhat anxious, but adding a pregnancy to the mix just intensifies the number of things that could go wrong and do go wrong each and every day with normal, healthy women. It's just life. But also, you're so unbelievably excited to meet this new bundle of joy that time can't move fast enough.
In my second pregnancy, I worried less. I truly didn't have as much time and energy to sit idly and think of the possibilities of what might happen. I totally underestimated just how busy life would be with a toddler that sometimes I forgot I was even pregnant. The fatigue of the first trimester was amplified by trying to care for said toddler too. While some of my energy did return in the second trimester, it wasn't what I'd hoped for. As it turns out, we discovered through blood work late in the second trimester that I was anemic in this pregnancy. It is incredible what various imbalances in your body can do to you. My iron levels weren't even critically low, but taking a daily supplement to raise my iron even a little bit was a big difference.
Right before I got pregnant with Ruth, we discovered I have elevated liver numbers and an autoimmune disease. That was an immediate red flag for all the providers and got me labeled as high risk. That red flag never goes away, by the way. My liver numbers fluctuated a fair amount in pregnancy number one, but hardly at all in number two. In fact, they've been in the normal range this whole time. So that's been awesome! The autoimmune disease I have is tumid lupus which is a pretty rare skin issue that isn't related to systemic lupus at all. But literally every medical record in existence must say something about it because every doctor I've seen in the last two and a half years has mentioned that I have lupus, but they are referring to the lupus that everyone knows about and not the very minor skin issue that I have. I always have to clarify to them what I actually have. A lot of autoimmune diseases go dormant during pregnancy, which is the opposite for me. I only experience an issue with tumid lupus during pregnancy. I suppose that's a good thing, right? I was very fortunate to know the issue going into this pregnancy and to already have medication for when it occurred again. Luckily, I've had hardly any issues at all in this pregnancy compared to the last, partly because it took so long to diagnose and sort out in the first pregnancy.
The very best part of the second pregnancy is the fact that I did not get a kidney stone in my third trimester! Seriously. Kidney stones are one of the worst and most pointless health issues to arise because the only light at the end of the tunnel is no pain. I'd go through childbirth a few more times before I'd ever choose kidney stone over it. I'm pretty sure people suffer from PTSD once they've had a kidney stone in their life. If my sides ache in any way whatsoever, I panic and increase my fluid intake threefold immediately to try and flush my system. I'm confident that people get kidney stones all day every day in the fiery furnace of hell. The Bible doesn't talk about it, but it makes sense to those of us that have had one.
Some other little differences that I'd like to remember are the movements. Ruth was so constant and all over the place... which is fitting if you've met the child. Baby Henry's movements are all felt on the right side, as in almost exclusively. I also didn't feel him move until later in the pregnancy than with Ruth because of placenta being in the front.
Ruth got the hiccups nonstop, all the time. Henry gets them but not nearly as often. Oh and the heartburn is a lot less frequent in the second pregnancy. As the old wives tale goes, Ruth did in fact have a lot of hair when she was born. But interestingly enough, ultrasounds show Henry has a lot of hair too. We will have to wait and see!
We could probably let this difference go with a footnote at the bottom or omit it completely... but I'm a fair amount bigger in this pregnancy. My baby boy is measuring a couple of weeks ahead at every ultrasound. At 36.5 weeks, thy estimated he was already over 8 lbs. and well into the 90th percentile for all measurements. I've done nothing different with diet and exercise this pregnancy than in the first. I'd say I've gotten more exercise trying to keep up with Ruth versus sitting all day in a well air conditioned office building working with my feet propped up. Nevertheless, I gained 32 lbs with Ruth and 39 lbs with Henry.
I will say a whole new level of mom guilt set in while pregnant the second time around. Ruth has never watched so much tv in her short life, mainly because of just how exhausting the pregnancy has been. She has greatly enjoyed it. I have felt like I'm letting her down by not constantly doing the fun things we were before. That's not to say we spend every day inside watching tv, but at times it has felt that way. And I know we will get back to our regularly scheduled outings and adventures soon enough!
Speaking of guilt, so very much guilt in thinking about how she's been my sole focus and all of my time, love, and energy devoted to Ruth and only Ruth for two years now, yet all of that is about to change and she doesn't realize it. You can only prep a child so much for another baby. She won't get it until he's actually here and here for good. I know it's possible to love two children unconditionally and give both of them my everything, but it's hard knowing that there will be times when attention is divided and I can't be everywhere doing everything with both of them at the same time. But at the end of the day, the battle in my mind of how everything will play out and the guilt that tries to take over is won by recognizing that a sibling is the greatest gift I could give my children. Years of adventures await them both, thousands of laughs and stories to be retold into adulthood, hugs, arguments, and everything in between. They'll both be my whole world for the rest of my days, and there shouldn't be any guilty feelings in that.