Day 5 – Maybe It Will Snow Tomorrow?

I had my final doctors appointment today. That was kind of a bizarre feeling after I've been to 8 million of them throughout both of my pregnancies. I stopped and got gas on the way home. I had the strangest thought that this would be the tank of gas that takes me to the hospital to deliver my baby. The last tank of gas. Does anybody else have those random weird thoughts when preparing for a major event? Probably not. I think in many ways, I'm a special kind of crazy!

As I was standing outside my car, the wind was blowing quite incredibly. I feel like the nor'easter we've been having has lasted us forever. I'm ready to be done with all the wind and the random rain. The weather today reminded me distinctly of the day before my grandma died a few years ago. It was mid February and we had just gone out to lunch. As we made our way back to her house, there was a bone chilling wind in the air. There was something about the way the wind shook you. My grandma suggested it might snow the next day, which made me laugh. I have no idea why, because it's still not even close to cold here in Florida, but today's wind reminded me of that day.

I thought about my grandma several times today. I suppose that crazy wind while pumping gas is to thank for that. I was in the kitchen cooking bacon for a recipe this afternoon and I glanced over to see a small book on Ukrainian Christmas traditions that I keep on my recipe stand in the corner. Since I had thought about her so much today, I thought 'wouldn't it be great to make one of these recipes and think of her.' I just have to laugh at that thought because as I flipped through the popular Ukrainian dishes, I remember just how much I didn't like anything traditional that she prepared. I literally would never eat her specialties as I was a picky eater as a child. But let's be honest, I'm not sure how many 8 year olds you're going to convince to have pickled herring or stuffed cabbage. She always had something for me in her kitchen when I was growing up visiting her in Chicago though, usually a warm bowl of soup. 

There's been a lot of talk recently of who will be here for Henry's birth and who won't be. Though I haven't said it aloud, I know the very person I wish could be a part of all of this more than anybody else is my grandma. Maybe we all have that "if only" person that we'd give anything if only they could be a part of that special moment. She's definitely mine. 

Andrew and I were watching TV last night and a really great commercial came on. Midway through the commercial, we were both locked in and waiting to see what it was for because it was tugging at the heart strings big time in a warm and fuzzy way. A little bit of a letdown, but it was for the University of Phoenix. It kind of felt like way too deep of a commercial to be for something like that. Anyways, it was a great grandmother speaking to her newborn great granddaughter. She goes through the various stages of her life as she references the struggles and sacrifices and says that they'd all be worth it to give her great granddaughter the chance to be anything she wanted. My grandma had a remarkably interesting life, but it was filled with hardship from the start in the poverty of her small town in Ukraine, to being in forced labor work camps in Germany during World War 2, to becoming an immigrant in this country, and always, always, sacrificing and doing whatever she needed to for her family. 

My grandma never got to meet Ruth, and she won't be meeting Henry obviously, but she knew they'd be here one day. I'm always so grateful she was a part of my wedding day and got to know Andrew. She loved him and I know she would have been so happy to see us as parents. I also know that like the woman in the commercial, my grandma would have said the same for her life in that all of the hardships and things she went through, it was for a better life for her kids, grandkids, and the future generations she'd never have the opportunity to meet. 

When the wind of the winter comes this year, I'll probably joke that the snow is soon to follow because it makes me smile and think of my last day spent with my grandma. Maybe on that day, I'll try my hand at making some perogies. As I think about it now, that was a rather wonderful dish she made and we all ate that one up! So here's to a snowy day of cooking perogies!